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Language is Everything - Part 6

Language is Everything. This is the one about Action.

Talk is cheap, because supply exceeds demand.

But, I thought you said Language is Everything. Well, it is. Unless you make it meaningless with inconsistent action. People call themselves entrepreneurs, but it's just a text blurb on their Instagram with a bunch of staged photos faked for fast cred points...if that works. Or, we say things like, "I love you," while following it up with a but, and doing something that actually doesn't line up with it? Or as parents we tell our kids that if they do that one more time then something's gonna happen, and of course they do it, but we don't follow-up because we're tired, or in the middle of a call, or it's time to go somewhere, etc.

Actions can often undermine our words. In fact, in some studies you'll get anywhere from 70% to 93% of all of our communication is non-verbal. Whatever it is, it's a lot. There's many reasons for this, and if you feel like it you can check out the research. My take-away from all of that is this:

Trust is the quintessential element of relationships, and nothing destroys trust faster than words with actions that counter them.

I would say nothing except outright betrayal, but isn't that exactly what betrayal is? I thought we were friends. I thought we were in this together. I thought we were all in together...and then betrayal is the outright undoing of that language.

This is not just true of friends, but also of oneself. When coaching and mentoring young people, one of the first concepts that must become a part of their core values is brutal self-honesty. This means that I am honest and open about what I see in myself, and then when I find something I don't like - I activate and change. It's one of the most insipid and insidious things to complain, or to see something in myself, acknowledge it, have a distaste for it, and then do nothing about it. The more comfortable I get seeing it and doing nothing, the more I stay in that negative loop. It's all because I have thoughts (language) unmet by action.

You just truly can't fool yourself. Deep down you always know...

...and that's why you get angry and bitter toward yourself, or just exhausted and beat down believing that nothing in your life is going to change, when it's really you not reacting to your inward talk.

If I want to hold others to a standard of talking things through and understanding them, and then expecting action to follow...then I have to be that person as well. I would say, in fact, that we cannot expect that of ANYONE ELSE unless we first expect it of ourselves. This means, we have to be willing to openly admit that we are ok being lied to and misled while also being diminished. Or, it starts with me. I first expect it from myself and I start acting on the intelligence I discover within. Then, and only then, I can expect it from others.

Actions do, in fact, speak louder than words.

Remember language forms thoughts. Thoughts are the basis for actions. Actions made permanent are behaviors and habits. This is life.

This is why Language is everything, and actions are language in its final form.




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